The Great War: Chapter 67
Overload
All Jae can do is lay in bed, even as a new cycle dawns. Her body is mostly numb, floating in the ether of reality somewhere fall away from her. She can still feel some of it; her hunger makes her stomach ache and her dry mouth reminds her of her thirst. But her will to move still hasn’t come back, nor has her sense of self.
It’s a constant assault of sounds, voices, and sensations. Her thoughts have become drowned in this vast ocean. Her vision swims with so many colors they’re stuck between coherent scenes and one gigantic smear of brown. Her hearing feels to have dulled since the onslaught began, every voice having become an amorphous background drone barely audible to her anymore.
She is thankful that the Great Spirit allowed her a brief moment of time to test her new ability before she left, but how could He have expected her to maintain that level of control the moment He sent her away? How is she supposed to make sense of all of this?
She was hardly given much explanation as to what her new power even does, though she’s been able to gather a few bits of information floating here in this strange realm.
One, that she is only connected to the other healers of Korodon. Simple enough, as if it were every being then she’d probably be even more sick than she is right now. And she can see and hear and, if she draws herself towards a specific being enough, feel their little corner of reality.
Two, from communing with Yumi, that thoughts can be carried from her to whoever she’s talking to and vice versa. Good for conveying information quickly. Bad for keeping secrets, probably.
Three, that there doesn’t feel to be any sort of way to turn this power off.
She feels like the Spirit gave her the bare essentials to at least understand how all of this is supposed to work. But He hardly gave her any time to adapt after that. She can’t help but wonder what the other Generals went through with the Spirit and how much He told them about their new gifts. Though it also raises the question of how far can she stretch her limits? How far can they? That’s for all them to find out in their own time, it feels…
Left without direction makes Jae feel small and weak in the middle of this storm. She has no guidance to draw upon. She knows she can try to narrow her scope if she could focus on some being - any being - if she didn’t feel as though she were being pulled in every direction at once. She has no anchor and nowhere to turn for one. So she’s left helplessly adrift in this in-between state, trying hard to make any sense of whatever she can.
And then, through the colors and the noise, the crush of feelings and the buzz of thoughts, what feels to be a warm gaze befalls her floating spiritual figure. Whatever it is, she knows that it’s staring right at her, trying to make sense of what she is and why she’s there in its domain.
A single golden light pierces through the chaos, its bright and steady glow snaking its way towards her ever so slowly, exploring the space for itself, yet acting careful and cautious all the same. It curls and weaves as it inches closer to where she feels to exist, frozen in the middle of this cacophony, unable to do anything to stop it.
It leans in close, touching her forehead, making it tingle and buzz. And for just a moment, she has clarity once more.
The string draws her to a healer; a young girl sitting quietly in a tent, softly lit and warm. It’s a comforting environment. And sitting before her is an Illusionist, his hands wrapped around her head and his golden eyes aglow with magic.
“How do you feel now?” he then asks out of the blue, his voice sounding as though it were under water.
“Better,” the child mutters back quietly.
The golden eyes narrow, a smile tugging at his lips, yet all the while she feels like his attention isn’t on the child at all, but on her.
Of course I’m feeling better, she wants to say. Whatever this wizard has done, now that her attention has been focused, she is able to think straight again.
She’s been laying in her new bed for a whole cycle now, trapped between the minds of all the healers across the island. She knows she can’t stay there forever, but she doesn’t know how she’ll be able to draw herself back to her own reality once this wizard… releases her? Is that the right phrase?
Furthermore, how is she supposed to start trying to make sense and bring control to all this chaos? If she can somehow break herself free from this in-between, she doesn’t think she’ll be able to turn back to it without becoming trapped again.
And this isn’t even to mention any of the ethics that come with being able to hear and experience the reality of any healer she wishes…
Stars above, why was she the one granted this power? Why not the king?
She sees the wizard’s face fall the more the laments her situation. Is it sympathy that he’s giving her? Or is it something else? But his gaze never once leaves hers, as if the two of them are simply stood in the same room together. He licks his lips, probably debating if he should speak or not.
The child, however, is scared. That much she does know. What are all these thoughts? What’s happening to me? she wonders, trying to make sense of Jae’s stream of dower consciousness in her own kid way.
“Just bear with me, Anora, okay?” the wizard tries to reassure the child.
The girl wants to nod back, but with her head held in his firm grasp, she can only release a small hiccup in response.
Once more, he falls into silence. His face betrays his longing to speak and his hesitancy to do so. The warmth of his magic remains small and singular, though its pulses as if it wants to truly connect with her. Perhaps it’s because he’s working his magic through this child. She doesn’t fault him for it.
But he is at least aware of her. Does this mean he can hear her, too? If he can’t hear her directly, then maybe she can have this child pass her message on for her instead.
Focus, child, and let your voice be heard, the voice of the Spirit rings in her ear as she manages to turn her attention away from those golden eyes.
[Hello, Anora,] she says as gently as she can manage to have the thought sound. [Can you tell him to go see my friend, Yumi?]
The child stiffens at her request, probably not expecting to have been addressed so directly. She stares back at the wizard with uncertainty, but somehow manages to stammer the request, “U-Um… you should see… Y-Yumi…?”
The wizard purses his lips, but it seemingly doesn’t take him long to understand what Jae is suggesting. If he’s holding back because of this child, then perhaps Yumi would be a better option for him instead. She’ll understand… hopefully.
He nods. “I’m going to release now, okay?”
“Okay…”
“And when that happens,” he adds, his eyes boring deeper into Jae, “I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath.”
“Mm mhm,” the child hums, thinking he was still addressing her.
Jae doesn’t think she’s ready to be thrown back into the in-between, but it’s not like he can keep her here forever, either.
Slowly, he eases his hands away from the child, and with it the embrace of his magic fades. Almost instantly, she’s drawn away from the child’s mind and throw right back into the chaos of every other being, the noise now amplified tenfold. Each voice is distinct and clear, making the overlap of every voice all at once send her back into a disorienting spin.
How is she supposed to close her eyes when she can’t even feel her body? How is she supposed to breathe when it feels like she’s being crush on all sides?
Flashes of black dance across her vision. She didn’t really notice it before within all the color. They all make blinking look so easy now, to take a break from the brightness of the world, if but only for a brief moment. She very nearly got there herself, blurring everything together into one mass of dark brown.
She stares at the colors intensely, allowing them to swim around in her view unhindered. Scenes slowly begin to melt away, swirling together into a vortex. The more that is added, the darker it gets as everything becomes consumed by each other. Her attention slowly wanes the longer she stares at the growing deformity before her.
And then, darkness.
The noise still remains, but at least the colors are gone. Her body tingles as she’s able to finally locate it again. Her eyes ache from being so dry, having been left open unblinking for far too long. She blinks in the dark, letting her tears flow.
Once more, she has a sense of presence, this time within herself. But there’s still so much chaos that demands her attention.
Breathe… she urges herself. She feels her chest expand at her command, becoming cold as her stiff body finally manages to move. Bit by bit, the voice fade away as she focuses on her breath. Her body feels like a layer of ice has been laid over it, making it heavy and uncomfortable to wiggle around. Her own reality slowly fades back into focus; shouts ring out around the room, the words still garbled but at least they sound happy.
She opens her eyes again to a blurry yet rather gray world. Figures shuffle around with urgency, colors coming and going as she tries to lift herself up into a sitting position at the very least. A cold hand supports her back, keeping her upright as her head spins and aches. A burst of magic makes her skin buzz, strong static raising the hairs on her arms and legs.
She feels so empty and exhausted inside, even though her body is filled with energy. She’s back, for now. How long will this respite from the in-between last?
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